Episode 6: Creating a Safe Practice: Addressing Sexual Requests in Massage Therapy

Massage therapy is a profession built on trust, respect, and professionalism. Yet, one of the most challenging and distressing issues therapists face is dealing with inappropriate sexual requests. It’s an unfortunate reality that many therapists—regardless of gender—will encounter at some point in their career.

This blog post, based on an episode of the Folding Towels Podcast, explores how to create a safe environment for both therapists and clients. It covers prevention strategies, red flags to look out for, and how to respond when faced with an inappropriate request.

Recognising the Issue

Dealing with sexual requests in massage therapy is an uncomfortable but necessary conversation. As Jackie says, “This is a very real thing for us. It’s not something we should have to deal with, but unfortunately, it happens.”

David shares his own experience, highlighting that this issue isn’t exclusive to female therapists. “I never expected it to happen to me, but I’ve been assaulted by both men and women.”

It’s important to understand that this is not just an occasional joke or awkward moment—it’s harassment, and it has no place in a professional setting.

Prevention Starts Before the First Appointment

Prevention is the best way to minimize the likelihood of inappropriate encounters. This starts long before a client walks through the door.

1. Set Clear Boundaries Online

Your website, social media, and online booking system should clearly outline your services and the type of clients you work with. Avoid vague or ambiguous wording that could be misinterpreted. Be explicit about your expertise—whether it’s remedial massage, sports massage, or therapeutic work—so there is no confusion.

Jackie explains, “Even certain words can attract the wrong kind of inquiries. Be mindful of your language on your website and social media.”

2. Use an Online Booking System

Requiring online bookings with client details (name, phone number, email) discourages inappropriate behavior by removing anonymity. Some therapists also require pre-payment for first-time clients, which further reduces the chances of prank calls or unserious inquiries.

David says, “Having an online system that collects client details upfront has significantly reduced the number of inappropriate messages and calls I get.”

3. Be Cautious with Communication

If someone contacts you with vague or suspicious wording—such as “Do you do full-body massage?”—ask them directly what they need help with. If they continue to be evasive, this is a red flag.

Jackie shares her experience: “I had someone text me asking if I did happy endings, and when I said no, they still expected me to find them someone who did. No. That’s not my job.”

4. Screen New Clients

Many therapists only accept new clients through referrals or after a phone conversation to assess their needs. This can help weed out inappropriate requests before they escalate.

Red Flags to Watch For

Certain behaviors and requests should immediately raise concern. Some common red flags include:

• Immediate availability requests – Clients insisting on an appointment right away.
• Vague or coded language – Terms like “full-service”, “body-to-body”, or “sensual massage”.
• Unwillingness to share personal details – If a client refuses to provide their full name or contact information.
• Requests for specific areas – Such as the perineum, inner thighs, or groin.
• Inappropriate touching – If a client tries to touch you during the session.
• Suggestive behavior – Groaning, excessive wiggling, or trying to initiate conversation about sex.

David recalls a bizarre incident where a client misunderstood anatomy: “I had someone say their physio sent them for a perineum massage. I asked them to point to it, and they pointed to their shin. They meant peroneus!”

How to Respond to Inappropriate Requests

Despite taking precautions, inappropriate situations may still occur. Knowing how to respond in the moment is crucial for maintaining your safety and professionalism.

1. Stay Calm and Professional

If a client makes an inappropriate request, remain firm but professional. You do not owe them an apology for refusing their request. A simple statement such as “That is not a service I provide. The session is now over.” is sufficient.

Jackie advises, “Step away from the table. Keep your voice firm. Let them know that the session is over.”

2. Leave the Room if Necessary

If the situation escalates, leave the room immediately and seek support from a colleague, friend, or security personnel.

David adds, “If you feel unsafe, get out of there. Don’t try to argue or justify. Just leave.”

3. Document the Incident

Keep a written record of what happened, including the date, time, client’s name, and details of the incident. If you work in a clinic, report it to the business owner.

4. Ban the Client

If a client crosses the line, do not rebook them. Some therapists keep a blacklist of clients who have made inappropriate requests.

David states, “You don’t need their business. Ban them. Block their number. It’s not worth your safety.”

5. Seek Support

Experiencing sexual harassment at work is distressing, and no therapist should have to go through it alone. Talk to trusted colleagues, friends, or a support group. Many online therapist forums provide a safe space to share experiences and get advice.

A Final Word

No massage therapist should have to deal with sexual harassment. As a professional, you have the right to feel safe at work, and clients must respect the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship.

As Jackie puts it: “Doing what you love and train to do shouldn’t have to include this.”

Take steps to prevent, identify, and respond to inappropriate behavior. You deserve to work in an environment that is safe, professional, and free from harassment.

Want to hear the full discussion? Check out Folding Towels Podcast: Episode 6 – Creating a Safe Practice: Addressing Sexual Requests in Massage Therapy.