Episode 008: How to Show Up for Your Massage Clients When You’re Feeling Less Than Your Best

Life doesn’t stop for work. As massage therapists, we know all too well that clients come in expecting our full focus, but what happens when you’re dealing with personal challenges or emotional strain? How do you keep showing up when you’re simply not feeling it? In this post, we’re sharing strategies for maintaining professionalism and presence even when your energy is low.

Our latest episode dove into this exact topic. We discussed how to manage days where emotions run high, the importance of setting boundaries, and the ways we can show up for clients even when life feels heavy. Here’s what we learned about giving your best when you’re feeling less than your best.

Both David and Jackie have experienced massages that were mechanical and void of any humanity – the therapist was just “going through the motions”. One of the joys of massage is feeling that human connection and when it is absent, it is as if the therapist isn’t even in the room.

We are all human. Things happen to us too. And we also get tired and exhausted just like our clients do. When was the last time you took a break, a proper long break? Are you engaging in hobbies outside of work, the activities that you love with the people you love that fills your soul with joy? Are you looking after yourself in the way that you encourage your clients to do to? Do you need to talk to someone about what you are feeling?

Whether it is simply a case of the “blahs”, depression or professional burnout – your strategies could range from a night out with friends, to seeking professional help, to needing to take an extended period of leave.

1. Acknowledge Your Humanity

Life throws challenges at all of us, including us massage therapists, and sometimes it’s unavoidable for these challenges to impact our work. Life events, whether they’re losses, family responsibilities, or simply overwhelming weeks, can affect your emotional bandwidth. Just as our clients go through ups and downs, we do too. It isn’t always possible or practical to take time off just because we’re not feeling 100%.

Jackie shares in the episode about managing personal grief. Just days before Mother’s Day and her mother’s birthday, Jackie found herself in a flood of emotions. She reflected, “I spent most of the day crying between clients.” Despite feeling raw, she showed up for work and handled each session professionally.

2. Lean on Your Support System

For many of us, the work environment is isolated. If you’re a mobile therapist or renting a room on your own, you may not have colleagues around to lean on. Finding support outside of work is key. When emotions run high, it’s tempting to bury feelings or ignore them, but as therapists, we know that doing so can create greater strain.

Jackie mentioned friends who budget specifically for therapy sessions to process the emotional load of work. This support is particularly helpful for those in sensitive roles, like doulas or massage therapists, who handle intense personal stories. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or professional therapist, having someone to talk to makes a difference.

As David pointed out, even a simple acknowledgment to a client can feel like a lifeline. When a regular client sensed he was off, he responded, “Thanks for noticing. I’ve got a couple of complexities I’m working through, but I’m going to be okay.” Sometimes a brief, genuine acknowledgment reminds clients that we’re human too.

If you have a good ethical employer, it’s okay to tell them that you have a bit going on. David had an employee show up for work during bushfire season, while there was an active fire very close to her house. You can imagine how she was feeling that day.

If you have an ethical and supportive employer then let them know how you are feeling. They may offer you time off, support, or help restructure week particularly if you have some energy leaching clients that week. If you have control over your own diary try to schedule some extra down time; finish early for the day, go to the beach or catch up with a friend.

Working in a therapeutic profession can sometimes feel isolating, especially if you work independently or don’t have colleagues to debrief with. Having a few trusted people to turn to when you’re feeling down can make a huge difference.

Support options might include:

• Therapists or counselors – Many therapists find value in regular counseling to process their own emotional experiences.
• Close friends or family – Sometimes, a brief, encouraging conversation with a friend can help you reset your mindset.
• Professional peers – If you’re comfortable, talking with fellow massage therapists can provide a sense of camaraderie and perspective.

A support network gives you a safe place to vent, process, and even receive encouragement that helps you stay grounded during difficult times.

3. Create Clear Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is a fundamental way to protect your energy on difficult days. It’s easy to feel a connection with clients, especially ones you have known for a while. Many clients use their massage as a pseudo counselling session pouring out their troubles to you. But sharing too much can leave you feeling exposed or even “contaminated,” as David described.

Good boundaries are essential in every helping profession. If a client asks about your well-being, it’s okay to acknowledge your humanity with a simple, “I’ve had a busy week, but I’m here to help you today.” This allows you to connect without sharing too much personal information or allowing the conversation to drift toward topics you’re not ready to discuss.

If you’re feeling especially sensitive or vulnerable, remind yourself:

• It’s okay to redirect conversations – Steer the conversation back to the client’s experience when it feels right.
• Professional distance is healthy – Your clients come for relief, and your focus on them ultimately serves both of you.
• Honesty can be brief – If appropriate, a brief acknowledgment is usually enough.

4. Honour Your Needs Between Sessions

When emotions are high, small acts of self-care between sessions can make all the difference. Here are some ways to reset yourself so you can give each client your best:

• Take mini-breaks – Even a few minutes to breathe or stretch can help you reset.
• Use grounding techniques – Music or deep breathing can help recenter your focus. Jackie mentioned how she often uses quick breathing exercises between clients to release tension.
• Stay hydrated and nourished – Basic self-care, like staying hydrated, fuels you to get through difficult days.

If a day feels especially hard, consider booking yourself a bit of extra time between sessions. These short breaks may seem minor, but they help preserve your energy over a long day.

When clients come to us, they’re often seeking relief, compassion, and a listening ear. This connection is why many of us choose this profession in the first place. On challenging days, leaning into the positive aspects of the work can provide a lift.

Working in a helping profession does mean that you’re constantly giving to others, so it’s crucial to take time for yourself outside of work. Jackie and David shared that sometimes clients recognise and appreciate the effort you put in, even if you’re not at your best.

Particularly when you get a very quiet and mindful client, or one who presents with a stimulating case – these can be useful distractions to redirect our thoughts and energy.

Here are some ways to prioritise self-care when you’re off the clock:

• Practice boundaries with clients – If possible, avoid client calls or messages outside of work hours, which helps create mental separation between work and personal life.
• Take personal days when needed – Sometimes, you need to step away for a day or two to recharge. Use this time to rest, recover, and do things that bring you joy.
• Engage in activities that lift you up – Physical exercise, hobbies, or even a simple walk can work wonders on your mood.
• Get a Massage – with a therapist you love, or one who has never seen you before. Get the massage just because you LOVE it.

Your well-being directly impacts the quality of care you provide, so prioritise yourself as much as you do your clients.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Take a Day Off

The nature of our work is hands-on, and it can be physically and emotionally draining. When emotions are especially raw, a day off may be exactly what’s needed. Taking time off allows you to process personal events, recharge, and return with a clear head.

In the episode, Jackie suggested that as small business owners, we often don’t take time for ourselves the way we should. She recommended, “Shut the phone off, don’t think about work, and just take a day.” Self-employed or not, everyone deserves time to step back and breathe.

Embrace Your Humanity and Compassion

Showing up for clients when you’re emotionally drained is not easy, but it’s also part of being human. Balancing empathy, professionalism, and personal resilience is key to thriving in this career. Remember that taking time for yourself, setting clear boundaries, and building a support network are vital steps to handling those challenging days.

When life feels heavy, don’t push yourself to be perfect. Clients value our humanity and respect the care we put into our work, even on hard days. Keep leaning on the tools that allow you to bring your best to every session, and don’t hesitate to take time when you need it. It’s through honouring both our clients’ needs and our own that we can sustain a fulfilling career.