Episode 109: Laura Jane Layton – Self Care From the Inside Out
Burnout is no longer a buzzword—it’s a lived reality for many of us. In a world that rarely stops moving, the pressure to perform, achieve, and care for others can push even the most resilient among us to the brink. But what if the signs of burnout were more than just exhaustion? What if they were clues—a “check engine light”—asking us to slow down, reassess, and rewrite the story we tell ourselves?
For Laura Jane Layton, that light came in the form of a hospital bed and a heart procedure. It was the moment she knew something had to change. Rather than ignoring the signals, she chose to pay attention. In her conversation with Jackie and David on the Folding Towels Podcast, she shared how she transformed that wake-up call into a mission—to help others practise self-care that starts from within.
A Life in Overdrive
Laura Jane had spent over three decades immersed in corporate life. Like many high achievers, she thrived on deadlines, responsibility, and the satisfaction of getting things done. But beneath the polished surface, her energy reserves were draining fast.
“I was filling the tank a dollar at a time,” she said, describing how she had been running on empty for years. The signs were there: fatigue, stress, and a quiet voice inside her telling her something wasn’t right. But like many, she kept going—until her body demanded she stop.
Waking up in hospital after a major heart procedure, she realised just how far she’d pushed herself. “That was the moment I grasped the steering wheel of my destiny,” she said. “Ironically, I had always had the power—I just wasn’t using it.”
Paying Attention to the Check Engine Light
That metaphor—a car’s dashboard warning light—runs through Laura Jane’s philosophy. Every day, our bodies and minds send signals. Fatigue, headaches, anxiety, irritability—they’re not nuisances to ignore. They’re the early warnings that something is out of balance.
“Most of us ignore our owner’s manual,” she said. “We wouldn’t drive a car with the warning light flashing for weeks. But we’ll live our lives that way.”
In a culture that glorifies productivity, those signals are often drowned out by a belief that rest must be earned. Laura Jane challenges that thinking. She encourages people—especially carers, therapists, and women—to see rest, reflection, and self-care not as luxuries, but as essentials.
Redefining Self-Talk
Central to Laura Jane’s work is the concept of inner dialogue. For years, her inner critic dominated the conversation. She drove herself with relentless pressure and high expectations, echoing the kind of harshness she would never direct at others.
“I used to speak to myself so harshly,” she said. “Things I’d never say to a client, I’d say to myself daily.”
That inner voice, she explains, isn’t just background noise. It shapes our decisions, our boundaries, and our capacity to recover from stress. Shifting it from criticism to compassion was one of the most powerful changes she made.
“Now I say, ‘We’re doing our best. What’s the next small step?’ That’s a completely different energy.”
Self-Care That Goes Deeper
In popular culture, self-care is often portrayed as bubble baths, candles, and indulgence. Laura Jane doesn’t dismiss those, but she believes true self-care happens deeper—through the way we treat ourselves in the quiet, unglamorous moments of life.
She calls it “self-care from the inside out.” It’s not about surface fixes. It’s about choosing your own well-being as the priority, not the afterthought.
“Most of us wait until we’re completely depleted to rest,” she said. “But the goal isn’t to avoid falling apart. It’s to keep ourselves whole in the first place.”
That means building practices that support energy and emotional regulation—before crisis hits.
Some of her go-to strategies include:
- Noticing and adjusting your inner voice
- Setting boundaries without guilt
- Creating ‘micro-moments’ of recovery during the day
- Scheduling rest, not just reacting to fatigue
Boundaries, Not Walls
As a former people-pleaser, Laura Jane understands the fear many carers have around saying “no.” It can feel selfish or disloyal. But she argues the opposite.
“Saying no to something that drains you makes room to say yes to something that lights you up,” she said. “No is a full sentence.”
In her own life, that meant no more evening appointments. It meant building in buffer time between commitments, and no longer justifying her decisions to others.
Massage therapists and other carers often feel pressure to be always available, always giving. But Laura Jane reminds us that service without boundaries leads to resentment, not generosity.
Systems That Make Self-Care Sustainable
One of Laura Jane’s most practical insights is this: self-care fails without systems. Good intentions fade when life gets busy. What keeps them alive is structure.
She’s not afraid to outsource, automate, and delegate. In fact, she sees these tools as crucial to maintaining her energy.
Her systems include:
- Shared calendars with her partner for smoother communication
- Meal prepping to reduce decision fatigue
- Booking admin days and rest days in advance
- Hiring a cleaner, even just fortnightly, to reduce mental load
“These aren’t luxuries,” she said. “They’re what make everything else possible.”
Jackie reflected that many therapists feel like they have to do everything themselves. David agreed. “Delegating isn’t weakness,” he said. “It’s a business strategy.”
Letting Go of Perfection
Despite all her changes, Laura Jane admits that the desire to be perfect still lingers. The difference is, she no longer lets it drive her.
“I’ve stopped trying to ‘fix’ that part of me,” she said. “I acknowledge it, thank it, and ask what’s really needed.”
This level of self-awareness—accepting imperfection without letting it dominate—is key to her message.
“Sometimes good enough is good enough. And sometimes showing up slightly messy is more honest and more helpful than waiting for perfection.”
A Message for Those Who Give
Many of Laura Jane’s clients are therapists, teachers, nurses, and carers—people who live to serve. Her message to them is simple: you can’t pour from an empty cup.
“When someone bumps into you, what spills out?” she asks. “If it’s anger or fatigue, that’s what you’ve been carrying. But if you’re full of peace, that’s what will show up.”
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s service. It’s how you prepare yourself to show up, day after day, for the people who need you.
The challenge, Laura Jane says, is to fill yourself with what you want to spill.
A Future of Gentler Success
Laura Jane sees signs of hope. Conversations about mental health and self-care are more visible. Burnout is finally being taken seriously. The next step is to make it systemic—through how we design work, support therapists, and educate new professionals.
Her parting words are a reminder that healing is possible, and power can be reclaimed:
“You possess the inherent power to craft the life you desire, and it’s entirely achievable. The first step is reclaiming the power you’ve unwittingly given away.”
Connect with Laura Jane Layton
For more from Laura Jane, including her coaching services and resources on self-talk, self-kindness, and mindful self-care, visit: laurajanelayton.com
Listen to The Laura Jane Layton Show — a podcast for busy women ready to silence their inner critic and reclaim their energy:
thelaurajanelaytonshow.com
Or find it on Spotify: Listen here